Elsewhere I have said that change is abrupt and transition is the process we go through as we adjust to change. But that’s not always true, is it? Sometimes, I can feel a change coming on. Sometimes for a long time.
I remember when my son was a baby. The best piece of advice I got was to watch him for changes to his eating and sleeping patterns. When he was getting ready to go through a growth spurt or developmental change, he would eat smaller amounts more often and his sleep became restless and fretful. Then, when he had grown a bunch or had rolled over or sat up on his own for the first time, he would take long feeds and sleep deeply and serenely. Knowing that these signs were the precursors and after effects of a change helped me be patient and compassionate, with him and with myself. It helped me remember that fussing and refusing to eat or take his usual naps didn’t mean that anything was wrong. There was nothing to be fixed. He was just gearing up for a change and resting in the transition afterwards.
Come to find out, I am the same way, even as an adult. When my sleep is a little disordered or my appetite is different, or my dreams become strange, or non existent, or when I feel restless or irritable for no reason, I’ve come to understand it is my inner wisdom letting me know that some change is coming my way. And, knowing that I am about to face a growth spurt or developmental change, helps me be patient and compassionate with myself. And with that patience and compassion, I can start looking for clues, or signs about what the change is. I can examine myself and my life and notice what needs to change, how I can best go about changing.
I suppose it’s not so strange that what I learned to look for in my infant son could still be true for my adult self. I also suppose that I am a human, just like everyone else, so what is true for me is probably true for other humans. If I can learn to listen to the promptings of my inner wisdom, I suppose others can, too. And if I can be restless and irritable as I face changes, so can others. So, I can extend my patience and compassion beyond myself to the humans around me who may be about to go through a growth spurt.
Saves me a lot of heartache, resentment and the urge to fix things. Just letting the changes come is the way to grow. And noticing the signs is the way to easier transitions.